what i planned to do this summer
- paint and make art
- hang out with friends
what i actually did
- ruined every friendship i have
even my friends aren’t my friends
Better get my stuff packed for Hogwarts the train leaves tomorrow
THEYRE STILL FRIENDS
i’ve never seen something so accurate
remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason
This post creeps me out because it is absolutely true
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS
Pleeeaase start using this website, https://www.ecosia.org, it’s basically a search engine that plants trees every time you use it, how beautiful is that? It’s pretty much the same as google only like a million times more ethical- 80% of their income goes toward tree planting programs in Brazil. It’s totally free and there’s an app available for IOS too, so you really don’t have an excuse… Now go and help the environment my darlings!
whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”
Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”
I lost the cap to a soda bottle
Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid.
LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE
we’re being faced with a serious issue.
there is only 1 sarcasm left
now we’ve got to use it wisely. please, for the love of god, think before you speak. it’s gotta be good.
yeah, okay, i’ll be sure to do that
johnny depp is me
if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.
he would be ur fed ex
I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that
i’m just an unattractive and really sad person who uses bands and tv shows to fill the void i feel in my heart
You know, Guardians of the Galaxy was not the first film I’ve watched in which Vin Diesel voiced a character that barely spoke and yet destroyed me with a single line of dialogue
need I remind you